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Parenting Principles from Proverbs Part 3

August 7, 2022 Speaker: Gibson Largent Series: Proverbs

Passage: Proverbs 13:24

Proverbs 3:11-12 - “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights”

Proverbs 12:1 - “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.”

Proverbs 13:1 - “A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.”

Proverbs 13:24 - “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

Proverbs 15:5 - “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.”

Hebrews 12:4-11 - “In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. [5] And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. [6] For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” [7] It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? [8] If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. [9] Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? [10] For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. [11] For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Listening Guide

Resources:

 

Parenting from Proverbs Part 3: Parents Must Discipline Their Children

Principles:

  • The Bible clearly teaches that parents should love their children by using physical discipline for correction.
  • You lay a better foundation for the gospel message when you discipline your child using the biblical method of spanking.
      • Paul Tripp: “You are parenting self-appointed self-sovereigns who want to rule their lives in the way they think is best. And that never ever goes anywhere good. It’s not loving to allow your child to exercise individual authority in areas where they are clearly not capable. That’s not love.”
  • Maintaining an attitude of willful independence or an anti-authoritarian attitude (aka lawlessness or rebellion) is a characteristic of Satan and our fallen sinful condition, not Christlikeness. The rejection of authority and lawlessness and the exaltation of self is Satanic
  • Paul Tripp - Free parenting seminar - “Parenting Never Ends” (https://www.paultripp.com/parentingneverends)
      • By the time your child is 7, they must know two things: they must recognize and obey authority, and they must know that you absolutely and completely love them. Those two truths must be driven into your child over and over and over again.
      • “It’s very important for them to understand that we are born into a world of authority.”
      • “God makes his invisible authority visible in the life of children by sending parents of authority to represent that authority over children who need authority.”

Scripture List on Discipline

Job 5:17-18 - “Behold, blessed is the one whom God reproves; therefore despise not the discipline of the Almighty. [18] For he wounds, but he binds up; he shatters, but his hands heal.

Proverbs 3:11-12 - “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights”

Proverbs 12:1 - “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.”

Proverbs 13:1 - “A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.”

Proverbs 13:24 - “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

Proverbs 15:5 - “A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.”

Proverbs 22:6 - “Train up a child in [his] way; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 29:15-17 - “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.  [17] Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”

Hebrews 12:4-11 - “In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. [5] And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. [6] For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” [7] It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? [8] If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. [9] Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? [10] For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. [11] For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Luke 2:49-52 - “And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” [50] And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. [51] And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. [52] And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.”

Psalm 94:12 - “Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O LORD, and whom you teach out of your law,”

Ephesians 6:1-4 - “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Colossians 3:21 - “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

James 1:12 - “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Revelation 3:19 - “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.”

 

Content on the “rod of discipline”

Shebet - means “rod”

Used 62 times in Hebrew in the OT

“The word rod indicates a thin stick or switch that can be used to give a small amount of physical pain with no lasting physical injury.”

 

ESV Study Bible Notes:

Proverbs 23:13-14 “clearly affirms the place of corporal punishment in child rearing. At the same time, the father’s overriding desire is to teach the child, rather than to vent his anger. The connection of the two verses shows that he will not die and you will save his soul from Sheol are parallel ideas. … The point is that the discipline has character training as its goal, not simply behavior; and this training equips the child to persevere in the way of life (cf. Prov. 22:15), which is the godly parents’ chief aim (cf. 23:15–18, 22–25).”

Article from GotQuestions.org:

“The phrase “spare the rod, spoil the child” is a modern-day proverb that means if a parent refuses to discipline an unruly child, that child will grow accustomed to getting his own way. He will become, in the common vernacular, a spoiled brat. The saying comes from Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” The Lord uses discipline to reveal our sin to us. This is also how parents reveal the truth of our need for a Savior to their children. When a child does not feel the consequence of his sin, he will not understand that sin requires punishment. The Lord provides a way to salvation and forgiveness through Jesus, but that means little to those who do not see their sin.

The word rod indicates a thin stick or switch that can be used to give a small amount of physical pain with no lasting physical injury. A child should never be bruised, injured, or cut by a physical correction. The Bible warns that parents should never abuse the power and authority they have over their children while they are young because it provokes the children to righteous anger (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). Physical discipline is always done in love, never as a vent to the parent’s frustration. It is also just one part of discipline and should be used when the child shows defiance to a clear limit, not in the heat of the moment.

God instructs parents to parent their children the way He parents His children. Hebrews 12:5–11 tells us that God disciplines those whom He loves to perfect their righteousness. God only disciplines His own, which proves that Christians are His beloved children. Notice that David says that the Lord’s rod comforts him in his time of trouble (Psalm 23:4).

Finally, we know that no discipline feels good while it is happening, but afterwards the rewards are rich (Hebrews 12:11). Godly character, fruit of the Spirit, and peace are rewards of God’s discipline. The same is true for our human children. Children who have learned how to take responsibility for their actions are much happier people (Proverbs 3:11–18). The importance of the rod of correction is that it steers the heart of a child toward Jesus and the forgiveness of sin He offers. When parents trust God’s methods over their own, they will see the blessings for their children and themselves.

Scripture list about the rod

Proverbs 22:15 - Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Proverbs 10:13 - “On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense.”

Proverbs 13:24 - “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

Proverbs 14:3 - “By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them.”

Proverbs 22:8 - “Whoever sows injustice will reap calamity, and the rod of his fury will fail.”

Proverbs 22:15 - “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”

Proverbs 23:13-14 - “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. [14] If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.”

Proverbs 26:3 - “A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools.”

Proverbs 29:15 - “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

Psalm 89:28–33 - [28] My steadfast love I will keep for him forever, and my covenant will stand firm for him. [29] I will establish his offspring forever and his throne as the days of the heavens. [30] If his children forsake my law and do not walk according to my rules, [31] if they violate my statutes and do not keep my commandments, [32] then I will punish their transgression with the rod and their iniquity with stripes, [33] but I will not remove from him my steadfast love or be false to my faithfulness.”

Job 9:34-35 - [34] Let him take his rod away from me, and let not dread of him terrify me. [35] Then I would speak without fear of him, for I am not so in myself.

2 Samuel 7:14-17 - [14] I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son. When he commits iniquity, I will discipline him with the rod of men, with the stripes of the sons of men, [15] but my steadfast love will not depart from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away from before you. [16] And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever.’” [17] In accordance with all these words, and in accordance with all this vision, Nathan spoke to David.

Psalm 23:4 - [4] Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 89:31-33 - [31] if they violate my statutes and do not keep my commandments, [32] then I will punish their transgression with the rod and their iniquity with stripes, [33] but I will not remove from him my steadfast love or be false to my faithfulness.”

Proverbs 22:15 - Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

 

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